fandomrandom77

virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo:

You are stuck in an empty room with only a button that will shock you. Do you press the button?

Yes

No

See Results

Pls reblog if h vote :)

Reblogged from: unpretty

sensiblereblogifposts:

rnoonpie:

tilthat:

TIL that hard disks are so sensitive to vibration, that just screaming at them diminishes their performance

via reddit.com

getting screamed at diminishes my performance too, u ain’t special

Reblog if getting screamed at diminishes your performance

Reblogged from: marisatomay

virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo:

What day did u vote on this poll?

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

See Results

Pls reblog if u vote :)

Reblogged from: optimistic-violinist

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

i’m begging you guys to start pirating shit from streaming platforms. there are so many websites where you can stream that shit for free, here’s a quick HOW TO:

1) Search for: watch TITLE OF WORK free online

2) Scroll to the bottom of results. Click any of the “Complaint” links

3) You will be taken to a long list of links that were removed for copyright infringement. Use the ‘find’ function to search for the name of the show/movie you were originally searching for. You will get something like this (specifics removed because if you love an illegal streaming site you don’t post its url on social media)

4) each of these links is to a website where you can stream shit for free. go to the individual websites and search for your show/movie. you might have to copy-paste a few before you find exactly what you’re looking, but the whole process only takes a minute. the speed/quality is usually the same as on netflix/whatever, and they even have subtitles! (make sure to use an adblocker though, these sites are funded by annoying popups)

In conclusion, if you do this often enough you will start recognizing the most dependable websites, and you can just bookmark those instead. (note: this is completely separate from torrenting, which is also a beautiful thing but requires different software and a vpn)

you can also download the media in question (look for a “download” button built into the video window, or use a browser extension such as Video DownloadHelper.)

reiterating that you absolutely need an adblocker for these sites (to avoid malware if nothing else), and i HOPE you already have one installed bc using a (free) adblocker for daily browsing tremendously improves your internet experience!

I recommend installing uBlock Origin whenever possible (Adblock Plus is also popular). Also using Firefox, bc they’re a nonprofit that gives you privacy and lets you fight ads, while Chrome is owned by Google; they just want to mine your data and sell ads.

How To Block Ads:

• for Desktop, click this uBlock Origin link (works with most browsers). install, restart browser, good to go!
• for Android, open Firefox and go to “3 dots menu > add-ons > add-on manager > enable uBlock Origin.” (this also blocks youtube ads within firefox!). this doesn’t work on Chrome, because Chrome hates you, but there are some ad-blocking apps in the play store that will give you varying results.
• for iOS, it’s trickier, bc Apple also hates you. here are some recommended apps in the app store. (some of them keep premium features behind a paywall, bc again Apple hates you. but there are options.) If those aren’t enough, Firefox comes to the rescue again with the Firefox Focus browser app, which includes a powerful built-in adblocker. I can’t find specifics, but try clicking the 3 dots menu and fiddling around to customize your preferences.

in conclusion: a combination of Android, Firefox, and uBlock Origin makes for the best browsing experience. But no matter what system/browser combo you use, please install at least one adblocker. you will thank yourself every damn day. it will give you a faster, safer, and much less aggravating experience as a user of the Modern Internet (derogatory)

ko-fi

Reblogged from: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

wonder-womans-ex:

youre-drinking-embalming-fluid:

mag7opinions:

youre-drinking-embalming-fluid:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

classic vines but they’ve been reshot hollywood style. a man stands over a cliff on a stormy night, his coat billowing in the heavy wind. rain-drenched, hair whipping about his chiseled features, he turns to the camera and–in a voice hoarse with betrayal–gasps: i can’t believe you’ve done this

Midnight. The detective bursts through a locked door to see a shadowy figure perched on the windowsill. The body of the Prime Minister sprawls on the ground, hardwood floor growing steadily darker around him. The curtains fly back as a gust of wind sweeps through the study - and in the next blink, the figure is gone.

The detective rushes to the window, but there’s no trace of the fugitive. They stare out into the shadows of London, and exclaim;

“What the f*ck, Richard?”

The detective and his assistants have been on this case for a week now. His fellows and colleagues had been gathered there to find the culprit of the murderers. On a rough day with no clear evidence in the apartment, he looks on in horror to his old friend, who is raiding the freezer on top of the fridge. Jim turns to the detective and yells: “What is this, the murder weapon? Get off my DICK!”

Two weeks go by. A shootout at Tower Bridge kills the team’s eyewitness before she can give them any information, and a cabdriver who might have had information has mysteriously vanished.

After a chance encounter, the team tracks the assassin to a boarding house before they vanish through a secret door. They’re at a dead end once more - until Jim points out the building’s address.

“Didn’t the Prime Minister stay here when he was younger?”

The landlady nods. “In this very apartment, with some other chap named Richard.”

Jim’s mouth falls open. “And they were roommates.”

The sleuth gasps.

“Oh my God, they were roommates.”

The detective closes the door behind him. He tries to stay quiet, but the latch clicks shut behind him.

The room is dark, illuminated only by the soft twilight glow that creeps in from the window. There’s a figure standing there, by the sill—backlit, so a glimpse of young round cheeks and shining eyes is all the detective sees as the boy whips around, then turns once more to silhouette.

Slowly, the detective’s eyes grow accustomed to the dim room. He can see the shape of the boy’s defensive stance, and a faint shadow outlining an outstreched arm, something grasped in a small fist.

“What…” the detective’s breath catches, and he tries to steady himself. “What do you have there?”

“A knife,” says the boy, the gleam of his grin, almost maniacal visible even through the murky dark.

The detective’s heart falls through his chest. “No.”

Reblogged from: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

thebibliosphere:

thebibliosphere:

hadanelith:

thebibliosphere:

I’ll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words “crucifix nail nipples” into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way.

I require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a story, and now I need the rest of it. Could I get a link, or a summary, or something? Pretty please?

All right buckle the fuck up kids, it’s the year 2012 and I’ve just been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior editor. It’s a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight movies is about to come out, and everything is vampires. Everything. I haven’t edited a single thing in months which isn’t about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So I open the file and notice there’s a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but you see I’m not quite dead inside yet so I carry on, bushy tailed and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It’ll be dead by page 24, but I don’t know that yet. I’m just editing one more vampire boner fest.

The MC is a girl who we’ll call Sue. Sue is a Good Girl™, Sue is Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad Boy™ for a boyfriend. We’ll call him Dickhead.

Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it’s okay. Except it’s not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he’s fine with except he’s got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words “hey stud” and he follows, dick out before she’s even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she’s a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he’ll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he’s a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it’s about to get weirder.

Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True Love™ who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left you! He’s been “instinctively protecting her from rapists” by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that’s not fucking terrifying at all.

Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she’d let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can’t decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don’t mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure.

If you’ve only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve.

So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: “her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn’t stop”

This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be “god fucking dammit” as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that I inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years.

When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with “a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower” (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there’s more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I’ll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and it’s all a bit of a blur.

A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed “THAT’S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART” and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn’t take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????!!!!!!????!!!!!! and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement.

And that’s the story of how an author sent me death threats for over a month because I stopped her shitty vampire porn from ever seeing the light of day. You’re all fucking WELCOME.

Sorry to bring this searing back into your lives fam, but I feel it’s worth noting that people are tagging this as an “ancient relic” of tumblr text posts and how they’re so happy they see this every year and like guys, I hate to tell you this, but uh, this post is only six months old. I posted in on March 3rd 2016.

It only seems like years because every time you see it you age five years.

Reblogged from: nour386

excessivelysesquipedalian:

my asshole cat once again comes to me and does his usual indications for “hey, there’s a problem I need you to fix, please help.”

because I love him and he is weirdly smart and actually really good at figuring out problems and getting help (like when he lets me know the bird feeder is empty because he wants to watch the birds) I trustingly get up and follow him.

he reaches the window, outside of which is a thunderstorm. he is very afraid of thunderstorms, and normally does not go anywhere near the windows when they happen. upon reaching the window he indicates in his usual fashion, “here is the problem, please fix it.”

no idea whether to be flattered and endeared that my cat thinks I control the weather, or frustrated because my cat is now mad at me for refusing to control the weather on his behalf. this is the second time this has happened.

Reblogged from: rum-and-shattered-dreams

dannnnnnnnnnnnex:

inkvoices:

lightningladybug:

inkvoices:

inkvoices:

charlataninred:

blitzlowin:

eater-of-hopes-and-dreams:

meraarts:

charlataninred:

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

1. The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)
2. The Monster of Sentan
3. The Witch’s Cat
4. Raise Both Children
   
5. Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)
   
6. Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)
   
7. My Arch Nemesis Cynthia
8. Pirates and Mermaid
9. Eindred and the Witch
10. The Demon King
11. The Cornerwitch
12. Grandmother Beetroot
13. Apocalypse Daycare Worker
14. Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon
15. New Year Saga
    
16. A Story About Changelings
17. Ranger in the King’s Forest
18. The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit
19. Goblin Men (Canines)
    

I am in love with you /p

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

Reblogged from: rum-and-shattered-dreams